1
The Notecard System
https://ryanholiday.net/the-notecard-system-the-key-for-remembering-organizing-and-using-everything-you-read/
1. write your thought down on a 4×6 notecard and identify it with a theme, e.g. sentences in my own writing, words I like, questions I have, or examples I think might fit somewhere and want to learn more about
2. Read a book or an article and diligently mark the passages and portions that stand out at you. If you have a thought, write it down on the page (this is called marginalia).
3. A few weeks after finishing the book, return to it and transfer those notes/thoughts on to the appropriate note cards. Why wait? Waiting helps you separate the wheat from the chaff.
4. In the top right hand corner of each card, put a theme or category that this card belongs to. Use color coded cards for an extra layer of organisation.
5.
2
帶一本書去巴黎 林達
1. 1978年春天的大學校園裡，熙熙攘攘更多的是那些老大學生。他們年齡各異，帶著別人無可揣摩的各色心情和故事。
...對書的飢渴主要是老學生們的心結，他們被渴得太久。不是十年沒有看書，而是十年沒有堂堂正正地買書看書，看過的書們，走得都是鬼鬼祟祟的地下通道，不知從哪裡來，又不知向哪裡去。你沒有選擇學科品種的權利，沒有選擇閱讀時間的權利，也沒有非要讀哪一本書的權利。你會聽到一本好書，聽到看過的幸運兒向你講述內容，背誦片段，被吊得胃口十足，卻望穿秋水而不得。...那已經是20世紀的70年代末了，買書居然賣得就像大災之年開倉賑糧，也實在是現代社會難得的一景。
...這本排版後委屈了21年才得以印出的書，買回來以後，我小心翼翼放入書架，又有22年沒有去讀它。...附庸風雅是最簡單的結論。可是，針對這個個案，卻並不十分準確。我們只是在買它回來之前，就已經刻骨銘心地讀過。
讀《九三年》是在沒有書的年代。在過手的無數本學科紛雜、千奇百怪的書中，有兩本書對耳聾目盲的我們，無疑是振聾發聵的。一本是狄更斯的《雙城記》，另一本就是《九三年》了。...讀的時候我們被告知自己正在革命之中，而這兩本談論革命的書，恰使我們從革命中醒來。...在今天，這位有著如此讀書經歷的人，看到自己生活在美國的兒子，哪怕有第三只眼睛，也只肯看電視二不肯看書的時候，竟伏下已經花白的頭，大哭了一場。
...那些地下書籍流經我們這裡的時候，通常只有一個晚上，甚至幾個小時。我判斷自己擁有它的時間比較長，不僅是因為我曾經把故事背得爛熟，多次把它口頭傳播出去，還因為我抄了一些精彩片段在我的本子上。所以，在我的印象中，《九三年》已經是我的了，深深地在心中刻下印記。當我真的後來擁有它的時候，似乎只是為了確信它真的存在，確信這樣一個時代已經來臨，一個惡夢已經結束。
...在真的成年成熟之後，我們必須再一次，甚至不止一次地重讀。不僅《九三年》如此，許多過去的書都是如此。於是，從巴黎回來後，我去找出《雙城記》，找出《悲慘世界》，找出《巴黎聖母院》。這個時候，我們不再有第一次閱讀時的震驚，但是，我發誓，我們會有新的感受。
2. 逛，在巴黎是令人愉快的。巴黎作為一個都市，有張有弛，相當整齊。今天我們能夠看到的巴黎，基本上就是1870年以後的面貌。其中60%的建築，是Haussmann時期留下的。
...19世紀中期，大量倖存於大革命和戰火的古建築群，在和平時期被拆得片瓦不存，怎不叫巴黎人一想起就痛心疾首。...可是，平心靜氣下來，Haussmann也從另一種意義上拯救了巴黎。在巴黎的Marais區，還保留了一部分自然形成的古老城市的味道。...狹窄的街道、昏黃的街噸，適於馬車在青色的街石上“嘚嘚”地叩響。
...在全世界所有的大都市，現代生活的來臨，都比雨果式的對文化保存的深思熟慮來得要快。...Haussmann以外的大巴黎，就是現代都市的造法。現代人已經失去對建築精雕細琢的時間和耐心。許多現代建築師更失去了為維護城市整體面貌，而放棄凸顯自己個性的歷史責任感。所以，Haussmann之外的現代大巴黎，是巴黎的一個粗糙的外殼。它不是在原來巴黎的風格上延伸，而是匆匆在一個藝術精品外面，套了一個現代籮筐。
現代建築師是最強調個人風格的，而水平卻參差不齊。當這樣一個群體一哄而上，效果可想而知。建築師的個性作為一個職業要素，在今天以經是一個定論了。人們已經忘記，城市作為一個完整作品，最需要的是什麼。...在完整的Haussmann的巴黎中心城區，凡是要增加一棟建築，只要稍微誠實一些，你都必須承認，建築師只能在這個時候放棄自我表現的強烈願望，而只做一個織補匠，使得自己增加的那一部分，天衣無縫地織補進這個城市的整體景觀。
可是，如今，中世紀手藝匠的職業道德和品質觀，早已隨現代風潮席捲而去。所以，巴黎人想，假如Haussmann沒有做，而古巴黎又無法避免拆除，只是拖到了最後一刻，汽車瘋行，不得不拆的時候，撞在一群五花八門的現代建築師手裡，豈不更糟？
...Haussmann留給我們的巴黎，是有歷史承襲性的。那凝重的灰色調；那個體略顯單調，聚集在一起卻又婚後雕塑感的城市整體；那些紀念性建築、林蔭大道、小廣場小花園形成的浪漫的文化氛圍，都有一種特殊的巴黎味道。更何況，Haussmann還是盡他的可能保存了一批中世紀的古建築。...看過Marais老區，Haussmann在重建形成巴黎重要景觀的居住建築時，完全延續了以前老巴黎的風格。
3
Jokes
Do you want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I’m still working on it.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It lifts their spirits.
When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar.
What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? It’s pointless.
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans.
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted.
Which is faster, hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.
4
To-do list for Today
■ Sunday school teaching
■ Sunday service
■ GAP prayer
■ phone call w Tiffany
■ Explanation to Sunday school teachers
■ Rest: nap and game
Humbleness? (with Daniel and Tryfina)
(Maybe the focus is to keep serving with our gifts, instead of pondering over sins)
■ Your struggle is not who you are.
■ Jesus is going to reign in our hearts.
■ He always provides help for us (e.g. words, grace to overcome)
■ You just have to do it over and over again. Unlimited times. As long as you are coming to God to confess. To sanctify us and make us mature. As long as we are progressing and responding to the Holy Spirit.
■ personal and be led by the Holy Spirit (God, fill my heart with the Holy Spirit). Tension: God is gracious and who judges. Fear of God but not up to a point where we cannot move
■ rejoice in when you didn’t do it
Recovery code
6631969387609f487b9d026c50dfd3d73bb2371e1649d246e21790921b73a0e2
5
Sam
Reading the material is very stressed. With children (10-12) over Zoom for three weeks, this is the last and final week, first week in charge. Sudden questions and not good at responding.
Skill and ability to respond to the kids and bring them back to the message. Received a message from God on Saturday, a deep one shared with my mom and Sandra, compelling for children. Anxious about the whole thing.
Core of ministry: listen to people’s hearts and pray for them
Adarsh
Used to abuse and harsh words. Give up easier than expected and lose emotions. Glad that I called him back and showed him what to do.
Came find me, sent me to the bus stop, treated me dinner, held me, called me as he likes me.
(13 Apr 2022)
I still regularly think about killing myself, every other day, and it pops up for several minutes at night. But I don’t do that because I think I am more than that, and that’d be a ridiculously selfish thing to do, so, yeah, I’m still here.
(22 Apr 2022)
Preesa
Evil thoughts of revenge last few months
Angry for injustice because of their skin colours and birthplace (cuz what if I was like them?)
e.g. dark skinned Thai kids are bullied by Hong Kong teacher
One wish: especially in the past year, I felt so much pain, I want God to take it away. I don’t want to feel too much of it. I feel like I am injured and not fully functional. I want to be strong and healthy again, to recovered. I want to have the strength to fight the bad guys again
Sagittarius & Pisces
對外界是一張陽光開朗的面孔
Seem very cheerful and energetic outside
- 私底下卻是個非常柔情的男生
- privately very tender
- 習慣把自己打造成一個精氣神滿滿的人
- has the habit of being energetic
- 在非常累才會表現出一絲的萎靡不振
- only when extremely tired will he wilts
- 接觸前是陽光的，愛笑的，**的
- outside: cheerful, always smiles, playful
- 接觸後情感特別豐富，有愛心
- inside: rich emotion, good hearted
脾氣非常好
Good temperament
- 對戀人不輕易發脾氣，最多有點不耐煩
- wouldn’t be angry easily, only irritated
- 如果你表現弱弱的，又的確沒有什麼大事情
- if you appear indifferent
- 他會反省自己是不是做得不好，過來哄你
- he will self reflect and come to woo you
比較孩子氣
Childish
- 遇到事情的時候又很有擔當
- but if something happens -> responsible
- 平時希望你能把他當成一個大孩子
- hope you treat him like a kid
- 真的有什麼事情，會站出來爲你遮風擋雨
- if anything, will step out and shield you
接受差異化，願意爲戀人做改變
Accept differences, wiling to change
- 如果真的愛你，會接受你們之間的不同
- if they love you, they will accept difference
- 想要改變你，也會說服自己接受差異
- want you to change, but will accept you
喜歡和人談心
Like heart to heart talks
- 內心有自己夢想的大孩子，對生活充滿希望
- has a dream in his heart, hopeful to life
- 渴望有人能懂自己，傾聽他的內心
- long for understanding and listening
- 作爲他的戀人，能夠和他說到一塊去
- if can speak in the same channel with him
- 那無疑生活是可以保持無條件信任的
- you two can trust each other completely
最好的還是直接一點
Better be more direct with him
- 委屈了你就告訴他，說你這樣說覺得好委屈
- if anything, tell him how you feel
- 換位思考一下，給他擬一個情境
- ask him to think in your shoes
- 其實很懂得換位思考，除非他不愛你
- he actually is very good at it
大多會比較喜歡御姐
Tendency to be attracted to big sister
- 獨立又富有魅力的女性會更讓他們迷戀
- attracted to independent and attractive girl
- 對外能御姐，對他們能小女生
- outside big sister, inside little girl
- 這樣的女性他們最喜歡了
- is their favourite type of girl
很容易寵過度
You’d easily spoil them
- 相對來說獨立的女性
- I’m relatively independent female
- 想要什麼在條件允許的情況下都儘量滿足
- will treat him well whenever I can
- 在生活中他很多時候都跟個寶寶一樣的
- so that he’s like a big baby in daily life
一次腳崴了，下不了樓
One time I twisted my ankle
- 他會聽話做事，但是也會打商量
- he will help, but will negotiate with me
- 但有段時間特懶
- one time he is extremely lazy
- 有次早上怒了，拒絕和他溝通交流
- I became angry and stopped talking to him
- 他就慫了，去買菜和去公司處理點事情了
- then he regretted it and help out at last
Letty
Group conversation / interaction
Transition
- so long as we’re hearing what you think
That dynamic when people laugh a lot
- there’s no particular reason
- it’s not necessarily about something funny
- it’s just another reaction
- it’s not really important
- if you don’t feel comfortable not laughing along, I think you could voice that out
- so that people will understand (?)
Why I mentioned ‘dislike me’
- came from different reactions
- a different perspective of things
-
Am I too deep?
- you are very genuine and very honest with your interaction
- you can enter the heart level directly
- people can reflect a lot more and they are actually thinking
- your sharing is always so to the point that it inspires me and helps me a lot
- this is your way of sharing, your gift of putting these things into words
- we all bring something different to the group, and you bring something unique that other people cannot bring (and others too)
e.g. that one time with you, me, Adarsh and Ben, and Ben was talking about his direction and his sickness, and you asked him questions. It was through your direct questions and your deepness that you were able to help him process or get to the point of his situation. You mentioned with his disappointment, but you invited him deeper as for why God allowed that sickness to happen. You helped him link all of that, and only you could have done that. We were all silent. I was literally writing down everything you were saying and how Ben was responding as I was learning from you. That was precious and so good for Ben. That was why I suggested to Adarsh that maybe we should separate into groups of no more than 4 form then on. You guys asked sharp questions and get to the heart directly. People usually wrap the problems and you are rare. That is why many people dislike people like you. 一入就入到好深.
- You have her talent of going to that level, but you are good at presenting your questions. It doesn’t unnecessarily hurt. I even think you do better than her in this aspect. There is truth in what you are saying. People accuse you because they don’t want to face those problems. The thing is, do you want to go to that level with your particular people group? It’s about what you’re comfortable with at the end. I think you should appreciate it instead of trying to wrap it away and be silent about it. I think MG people recognise your good. You don’t have to be like us. I know how to joke, but I can’t ask the questions you ask. I keep expressing that I am glad that you are with me, as I feel like on my own I wouldn’t be able to open those doors.
- I would like to let that shine and you have that depth of insights, and you really touch that critical point - immediately upon what you have to say, it’s an answered prayer
- God wants to treat that wound, so be it the way He wants
- Your voice is so powerful, that’s why the enemy wants to silent you by what people say to you. That is a total lie and that is not true. You might have the inspiration from God, so maybe I can cue you after all those questions.
- Don’t cast pearls before pigs… I think MG people are genuinely seeking for a direction, but they don’t know what questions to ask. You’re a bridge.
- I appreciate it every time you show up because I know there are a lot of fear in you but you still come, so I’m so grateful for your effort in trying so much. I think it’s love, to move out of your comfort zone to do that.
Yoyo
- She can be quite strong in her opinion sometimes. That one time when we were at church, and you share about whether you should give up teaching and go for mission, but she interpreted it the other way. It’s not the way you express, I think it’s the way she process information… She’d be 執著 in some points, but she has a good heart. She’d be triggered and get angry about it.
- like I’m good with Esmond.
Teamwork
- spiritual gifts, personality types
6
Pray for a nation
神給你最重要的事情是什麼？
問題永遠會出現，先出去再回來工作
趁著白晝去做工，黑夜來了就不能做工了
主，我九月份辭職出去，是祢的心意嗎？
○ Go among them & live with them
○ See which one stands out to you
○ Have the heart to pray for them in passion and sorrow
○ Your heart long for them
○ Fast and pray for God to bring you to them (so going out is important)
○ Preaching and serving them is different than voluntary work
○ It is God’s decision to give you a burden to people (you’ll know when you go)
○ Pray for different nations and ask God to reveal his heart to you
○ For example you got Middle Eastern region, then just go there and let God reveal further to you
○ Blessing will be upon your family if you are following God’s will
○ Grasp the time and go ASAP
○ Have to let go of giving family monthly provision as being responsible for family
— Afraid for family & leave it to God
— What we can bring them is spiritual blessings and eternal love
— This supposed future is ‘secondary’, the ‘first’ future is returning God’s calling
— Giving all yours to get the pearl
— Faithful servant or lazy and evil servant?
○ Live godly everyday (so happy!)
7
Sunday school to-dos:
Warm-up
- say good morning to each child (ask each to turn camera on)
- let’s prepare ourselves to learn God’s words about [topic] + interaction (raise hand if…)
Pre-teaching
- worship + be ready to raise your arms and praise the Lord (sing and dance)
- each song play once
- we are going to join together now to say the Lord’s prayer - we’re with Jesus in this prayer. (I’ll say and you’d speak after me)
- let’s read the Scripture verse together (guide to read + encourage kids to read along)
While-teaching
- ask question (what does anger look like to you? Speak or type in chat box) very true. Anyone else? (Type in the powerpoint)
- inviting quiet kids to speak (good word) do you have anything to share? (Prompt questions)
- summarising for them + echoing them!
- watch a video about two bullies hurting people + paraphrase for the kids + discussing why
- sharing teaching workload, pass on to the other teacher for the second half (ask application questions + showing pictures)
- ask kids to read some scriptures
- teach with pictures + time control (pick out one of the causes of anger that you’d understand)
- a lot of application questions (teach the kids how to solve the problems in topic)
- a good idea to choose one of the pictures themselves (practice to that shape)
Post-teaching
- recap (by stopping -> pausing -> praying -> breathing = can stop anger and sinning)
- round up the lesson
- it’s tick tock time: tick tock tick tock close your eyes, put our hands together and this is time to pray (echoing while praying)
- thank you and bye
***
Sunday school meeting
02 April 2022 A
Youth 11-15 years old
Not willing to turn on camera
All Christians, with some new faces
Assessment difficult
Want more S-S interactions
— Can be interactive in the chatroom
May doodle on screen
Quiet and reserved kids
— may need one-on-one session
Rules: turn on videos required
Generally good internet connection
— a few times screen blurred
Chatting privately on Zoom / phone
Kid’s interactions has gone down
— they rather shut themselves down
Prayers:
■ pray to learn more about the kids
— pray for the one-on-one session
— understand why they come
Letty
I cannot do it. My mind cannot process information... I’m sorry.
I’ll arrange and you can just observe. I’ll get back to you and guide you step by step next time. Sorry if there’s not enough support in the way.
I cannot teach today because I have been panicking. I have called Tryfina and asked her for substitution for the youth class. Sorry for the inconvenience caused and I’d explain it later ><
No problem Ms Letty, we are here and in this together. Having you with us is a great step of courage. I appreciate that so much
No worries
Thank you Cecilia and Letty. Letty, I think beginning teaching through zoom is super challenging. Let’s take things slowly, so you are able to feel more comfortable first:) happy to chat to you about this
Thank you... It happened before too when I first led worship in my old church😞 I have to overcome my fear for any first time I think. Thank you Tryfina, Mary and Cecilia for your words of encouragement... I’ll pray and hopefully can be braver next time
Hi Letty, I am on school vacation now. Would you like to meet to pray about this. There must be some calling in your heart I guess…
8
Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
1. Remember these practices earn us nothing in the economy of God. Nothing. Their only purpose is to place us before God. God then steps into our actions and, over time and experience, produces in us the formation of heart and mind and soul for which we long.
2. This is no quick fix. It is crucial here for us to respect the slow work of God upon the soul. Slowly, ever so slowly, over days and weeks and months and years, the soul is being carefully formed and conformed and transformed. (The liberating process)
3. Here is the key - the Spiritual Discipline are actions of body and heart and mind and soul that we actually do. Not just admire. Not just study. Not just debate. But practice.
4. One thing will always be central to our exercise of the Spiritual Disciplines - Holy Scripture. Reading Scripture. Studying Scripture. Meditating upon Scripture. Memorising Scripture.
5. The via negative focuses on ascetically Disciplines like meditation, fasting, simplicity, solitude, submission, and confession. These teach us life-giving ways of self-denial and letting go. The via positiva focuses on incarnation Disciplines like prayer, study, service, worship, guidance, and celebration. These teach us life-giving ways of growth and affirmation. Together these two movements are aimed at freeing us from soul-crushing patterns of death and creating joy-filled patterns of life.
6. True godliness does not turn us away from hurting, bleeding humanity. Rather it enables us to live fully alive in the midst of human need and enlivens our abilities to bring a healing preserve to the bruised and broken around us.
7. There is one major difference that has occurred in the past forty years that does indeed impinge upon the spiritual life. I can state it in one word: distraction. Distraction is the primary spiritual problem in contemporary culture. Frankly, when we are perpetually distracted, we are unable to discern the voice of God.
8. You just may be enabled to ‘listen to God’s speech in his wondrous, terrible, gentle, loving, all-embracing silence’. I recommended that you consider using this twenty-four-hour retreat pattern four times a year: winter. spring, summer, and fall.
9. My problem was that I did say had no power to help people. I had no substance, no depth. The people were starving for a word from God, and I had nothing to give them. Nothing.
10. But regardless of the specific topic, he constantly drew us into the big picture. It was life-based teaching that always respected the classical sources and always sought to give them contemporary expression. Those teachings gave me the worldview, upon which I could synthesise all my biblical training.
11. Superficiality is the curse of our age. The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem. The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, but for deep people.
12. The primary requirement is a longing after God. “As a hart longs for flowing streams, so long my soul for thee, O God. My soul thirst for God, for the living God,” writes the psalmist. (Ps 42:1-2)
13. Willpower has no defence against the careless word, the unguarded moment. The will has the same deficiency as the law - it can deal only with externals. It is incapable of bringing about the necessary transformation of the inner spirit.
14. Once we live and walk on the path of disciplined grace for a season, we will discover internal changes. We do no more than receive a gift, yet we know the changes are real.
15. Jesus Christ has promised to be our ever-present Teacher and Guide. His voice is not hard to hear. His direction is not hard to understand… If we are willing to listen to the Heavenly Monitor, we will receive the instruction we need.
MEDITATION
16. It is this continual focus upon obedience and faithfulness that most clearly distinguishes Christian meditation from its Eastern and secular counterparts… God spoke to them not because they had special abilities, but because they were willing to listen.
17. Christian meditation, very simply, is the ability to hear God’s voice and obey his words. It is that simple. I wish I could make it more complicated for those who like things difficult. It involves no hidden mysteries, no secret mantras, no mental gymnastics, no esoteric flights into the cosmic consciousness.
18. What happens in meditation is that we create the emotional and spiritual space which allows Christ to construct an inner sanctuary in the heart… We who have turned our lives over to Christ need to know how very much he longs to eat with us, to commune with us. He desires a perpetual Eucharistic feast in the inner sanctuary of the heart. Meditation opens the door and… the aim is to bring this living reality into all of life.
19. Detachment is the final goal of Eastern religion… Jesus indicates in his story of the man who had been emptied of evil but not filled with good (Luke 11:24-26). The detachment from the confusion all around us is in order to have a richer attachment to God. Christian meditation leads us to the inner wholeness necessary to give ourselves to God freely.
20. Often meditation will yield insights that are deeply practical, almost mundane. Instruction will come on how to relate to your wife or husband, or how to deal with this sensitive problem or that business situation. It is wonderful when a particular meditation leads to ecstasy, but it is far more common to be given guidance in dealing with ordinary human problems. Meditation sends us into our ordinary world with greater perspective and balance.
21.
9
Prayer request (Letty)
01 Mar 22 T
- cowardliness to talking openly
- able to spend time wisely
22 Mar 22 T
- whole family caught Covid (sis recovered)
- prepare for lesson before summer holiday
- protected heart
05 Mar 22 S
- Is able to move on
08 Mar 22 T
- to start reading devotionally to the Bible
- passion about Bible verses and worship
11 Mar 22 F
- guide Esmond to Christ
- take away my pride (design for questions)
- I think I defend worldly values in a way that I can be a bridge for people to come to Jesus… but have I defended Godly values in me meanwhile? How firm do I believe that God’s values will work? Need to be alert.
- restore my emotions (to resonate)
- I have been such a cultural defender… resonating with the non-believers, ignoring that they yearn for Jesus… need this simple truths by repeating itself over and over
- (do forgive me of my sin, my Lord)
25 Mar 22 F
Deepa: pray about Hindu parents to believe, but I got people reporting to my mum about me going to church. That…
02 Apr 22 A
Letty: It’s good for her to be a thinker.
Preesa: Swearing quite frequently in a casual manner (carefully chosen swear?)
— grow up in a different place, had been in mainland China (for language studies) and the UK (exchange), and moving a lot
— Hong Kong people unwilling to open up to other cultures. They wouldn’t tell you when they didn’t like something.
— Hung out with international Hong Kong friends, from local or ethnic minorities (don’t fit into mainstream culture)
People at work said she didn’t understand Hong Kong culture.
— exchanged in the UK (could talk on a personal level with international students)
— Hong Kong people don’t really understand me, resonated with Esmond.
— had a good time in the UK and wanted one of those countries that shared similar cultures (like multi-cultural ones)
Culture: not allowing me to socialise with a person they don’t like. Manager told me office politics that I don’t understand. A girl said ‘she is like that, very direct’ as if I was acting inappropriate while I think I’m just being honest
How do the conflicts arise?
Said something on my mind and it somehow offended them.
Had a huge conflict with 2-3 of my former colleagues. Everything I watch is international, and they would just talk about everything Hong Kong. They want people to think that they should follow them and love the local way of doing and seeing things. Say something that they would be boycotted even though they are seniors. (Treating them well in front of them and talking bad things behind them)
03 Apr 22 S
- What happened at Sunday school, Letty? You were anxious and panicking…
- I think this is what happens when Letty is a teacher… without God? But I did pray, and God has helped me.
- I think it’s more like a cultural fear I have for NCS students… and that I don’t have my own classroom environment for the first few times. It’s too crowded for a first time, and being online makes it worse…
- It’s just nameless fear for a first time under stress. When I really joined, Sunday school isn’t as intimidating as I think. I should learn to tame this demon of fear in my heart… or maybe I did too much yesterday. Letty trying too hard…?
- I do think I have my own way in engaging people in a heartwarming way… a unique way of welcoming and serving especially newcomers, while I can be so shy, overwhelmed and intimidated facing senior figures…?
- I think it can be that Mary is an experienced teacher and I am afraid I would received criticism afterwards. Maybe I still have this mindset of competitiveness in my head…?
- I remember that I cannot be a teacher unless it’s to serve God. Right now, everything is uncertain and the unknown leaves me in fear. May you help me Lord.
13 Apr 22: Meeting with Pastors
- best to call them on weekdays
- not try to ignore people but ask for time
- want to be there with young people, but have the feelings that we don’t have pastors around us (also have limitations)
- MG pastors are not available: there’s a way of communication, we have a ways of doing things and need to understand how much they can be heard and answered. It’s easy to blame pastors. Should find a solution - a respecting ways of communication (e.g. emails)
- slows us down to hear God’s words and wait and discern God’s will - there’re > 40 families in the church from different bkg.
- feel dragged down constantly and Chinese culture always look for the master to get direction.
- When people come to us, we need to *point them to God*. It’s important to go to God.
- things that needed to be solved in your own groups, so no need to reach out to pastors. Just go to God and pray to hear His voice. (can practice)
1/ Things concerning Esmond
- reaching out to many people - good
- 2 things to clarify:
- mentorship is with the agenda
- mentorship is discipling someone
- to spiritually guiding that person
- regular commitment with a person
- responsibility and accountability
- not suitable to reach out to males?
- need to clarify to Esmond that it is organised from the church (mentorship)
- Self-pity and the mismatch of words and actions: people will think that they need to do something for a Christian
- Are you serving them to help them? Or there’re too many people? (2-3 ppl)
- Quality service: people in HK to help them to centre in Christ, then mission completed (X counsel)
- if not, it would backfire and lead to disappointment and break of relationship
- tell him about the mentorship programme and encourage him to join
2/ Sunday school matter
3/ Chance to go STM this September
4/ Things concerning Adarsh
5/ Student died and it came as shock
- when Adarsh realises he’s having a hard time because he’s having issues with Tina and Ebson, he needs to realise that he is loved and being shaken up.
- there’d be speculation. Should go to that person directly, but usually we don’t do that. This is something Adarsh should learn. We need to get immaturity.
- Anniversary thing was a surprise for them and she invited them from the church. This is speculations. He should have the courage to come to them and ask. I’m sure God is maturing Adarsh.
- We have witnessed his changes, and we as pastors just guided them. We have told him that it wasn’t the right moment. You have just beginning to praise God. Don’t start the relationship yet. Try to not only just for asking for counsels but to hear the counsel. Guide, pray and hope.
- Clarify things with him: where are you two? He would like to say you like him back. Have to stop delivering the message that you like him now. Two days a week or once a week. Take responsibility to what you have done to him too. As pastors, we want to guide you guys. You guys are looking for something and tied to so many things. You are praying and listening to God. Catch off with relationship with certain people. It’s a decision you guys have to make yourselves.
10
Sanisha
2 April 22
Uni: a lot of design assignments (12, deadline spread out the whole April) Stressing out as cannot work in uni
Family: everybody’s home a lot and there’s a lot of fighting. Mental health getting worse. Mom gets angry at tiny stuff (like feeding the rabbit) and trigger my sister. She thinks we’re ganging against her (stubborn)
Mom talks on the phone a lot to keep her mind off, and she sends those strangers money (goes out with friends and comes home drunk)
Friend: blessed to have good circle of friends. Can share anything. Tauhid and other friends has good listening ears, and helps me by giving me hotline number.
Health: anxiety, scared of people especially someone higher than me, like my professors that are not that friendly. Feel very uneasy and lot of doubts as they need to help me by speaking in English (especially when they need to speak in Chinese) no reason to be scared of them
One wish:
Uni - assignment, internship (working in summer) - uncertainties scares me, hard time adjusting to new changes (transition).
Fear of not meeting people’s expectation in the design field (competitive, discouraged to see other’s cool design - comparison and doubt for not as good as them). I changed my field from media in HKU space to fashion and textiles in POLY (enter year 3 from start).
5 Apr 22
Uni: able to go back to campus yesterday. Talk about all the courses and feeling overwhelmed. Just uni work. Getting things done little by little, feel like impossible to finish. (answer) applied for 2 more internship, don’t really have time to
GAP: day and night bring the needs in prayer. prayed for helping us to look for those in needs and lift them up. Prayed for seeing Jesus in every aspects of life…
Romans 1:12: “When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.”
One wish:
Uni - for my dad 43 years old. He goes to work every day 0800-1930 in seafood market in Sham Shui Po. Pray for rest for him. Only has holiday twice a month. Been working over 20 years, people are very nice, that’s why he can speak so well in Cantonese. Health: good health, tired legs. Mental: don’t really talk a lot about. I cooked and we ate dinner during Covid. He always seems so happy, very cheerful and talkative. Knows about God (talked with Ebson and Tryfina before) but don’t believe. Nabin - her family to receive salvation
12 Apr 22
This week I’ve been really busy. Mom has been fighting with us a lot. Two days ago, we couldn’t speak probably cuz she was shouting and we started arguing. That day I was so mad and annoyed. I realised that she is very annoying and I can’t deal with her. I really can’t. She spoke so intense and so harsh, and she didn’t understand what she was saying “everything bad, she wants one of us to die. She wants me or my sister to die because we are very annoying. I wish I can keep my cool but I couldn’t. I can’t be patient and I just can’t love her.” It was gross I can’t even tell you. In the morning two days ago I called a social warfare department. I told them what happened, what she’s been doing and how in the past she had hit us. They told me they wanted to help me and will refer me to someone. I’m not expecting anything as I don’t want to be helped. I don’t want to deal with it. I never want to see her again. The next day she forgot, and it was frustrating because she couldn’t remember what happened. I’m angry. I have to work first, I can take a gap year and I can work and move out. My dad said no because he wanted me to finish my studies first, then I can think about it and do that.
After I moved out, I don’t have to see her. But my sister will be staying here. My dad supports me when I told him. I feel guilty for shouting bad and not being calm cause I don’t want to be like her. But the moving out, I’ve told them. I told my mom that I’d move out and I’d never see her again. She didn’t believe me.
Tryfina is coming tomorrow to see my mom. Pray that you’d give us the wisdom and knowledge. Pray for open hearts. Pray that mom will be able to receive blessings and your words.
Pray for rest in her heart as a teacher as there’re so many responsibilities. When she cannot meet people’s expectations, may you give her rest and tell her that she’s not disappointing anyone and its a learning process.
One wish:
For tomorrow, I hope my mom will realise something. I hope the visit go well tomorrow. At 15:30.
19 Apr 22
One assignment left. Interview today at 15:00. A whole week exam writing papers. Anxiety towards professors become better now, as someday I felt little and she was significance and I just get nervous. Family’s been okay and I’ve focused on my own things.
Home visit: My dad believes in Jesus but not convicted, refreshing as my dad could talk about it. My sister doesn’t really talk much. My dad asked for prayers but he doesn’t have the time to be committed. Mom went out so we’d have another visit. I think the home visit was needed as we all prayed together, and Tryfina shared what Easter really is, and I wish mom was there
One wish:
Internship - cuz I really want it. Would be able to say the right words and I wouldn’t be nervous. Get the offer.
23 Apr 22
Met with friends long time no see. Made momo together. All assignments almost done! Have another interview. Two friends are leaving for the UK, in May and September. Primary and high schools. Try not to think about it, as friends are not here anymore. Had nightmares about my mom hurting me physically. Last night I saw it too - my mom was digging her nails into my skin. Told Tadhid and my friends, and they said it was because of my past experiences. The other time she had a knife in her hand and I screamed, and the knife went through my hand.
One wish:
Send workers to the frontier to harvest. One day Letty will go to the frontier too to witness God’s works.
26 Apr 22
Doing pretty good. Happy finished all the assignments. Everything’s done and it’s just the internship now. Last time got rescheduled and didn’t have any rearrangements yet.
One wish:
Pray for my sister. She looks very sad. She’s starting school, and it’s hard for her, as her classmates are not nice to her. They are immature and pick on her. Hope my sister will be able to be guarded as school’s starting. So she won’t have a hard time at school. She’s being picked on because of how she looks (Gothic type) and her personalities. She’s 14. (Princi)
2 May 22
Letty: cannot sleep well, worried about school and dreamt much (late for class, criticism from teachers, messy time, not prepared for students). “A true Jew is one whose heart is right with God.” (Romans 2:28)
One wish:
- pray for a changed heart (seeking praise from God, not people)
- I knew you guys are just talking, and I knew you guys are not together. Adarsh told us at lunch that he was just good friends with Letty. But it’s not mutually beneficial… pray for Zoom meeting so that we can clarify things to everyone.
- not secure with myself / low self-esteem / condemnation of self
- attack of the enemy
9 May 22
Sanisha: went hiking
One wish:
Sanisha: 1 July 22 internship starts! Go back to nature.
Letty: right attitude for teaching (too much worries!)
11
If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler by Italo Calvino
你在書店的櫥窗裡看到這本書的封面及書名。根據這一視覺跡象，你走進那家書店。書店的櫃檯和書架上陳列著許許多多你沒有讀過的書，它們都皺著眉頭從書架上向你投來威嚇的目光。但是你知道，你不必害怕它們，因為它們之中有許多你可以不看的書，有許多並非為了讓人閱讀的書，還有許多不用看就知道其內容的書，原因是它們尚未寫出來就屬於已經看過的書之列了。
你跨越這第一道障礙後，那些你如果能活上幾次的話也許會看的書便向你襲來。可惜你只有一次生命，活著的日子有限，你只好跨越它們，來到你打算看的書中間：這裡有你想看但首先要看過別的書後才能看的書；有價格昂貴必須等到書價打對折時，或者必須等到出平裝袖珍本時你才買的書；有你可以向人借到的書；有大家都讀過因此你也似乎讀過的書。
擊退這些書的進攻之後，最後你來到最難攻克的堡壘下面，這裡有你早已計畫要看的書、你多年來求之不得的書、與你現在的工作有關的書、你希望放在手邊隨時查閱的書、你現在雖不需要但今年夏天要看的書、你需要放在書架上與其他書籍一起陳列的書，你莫名其妙突然產生強烈願望要購買的書。
喏，你終於把一個無限的數量縮減為一個有限的數量，心中感到一定程度的輕鬆。當然，你在功課這個堡壘時還會遇到另外一些埋伏，例如你早已看過現在想要重看的書，你一直謊稱讀過現在需要下決心一讀的書......
12
RPG Maker Horror
https://www.thetoptens.com/rpg-horror-games/
1. Ib
2. Off
3. Mad Father
4. The Witch’s House
5. The Crooked Man
6. Yume Nikki
7. Pocket Mirror
8. Mogeko Castle
9. Paranoiac
10. End Roll
11. Angels of Death
12. Hansel
13. Alice Mare
14. Corpse Party
15. Misao
16. Ao Oni
17. Schuld
18. Blank Dream
19. LiEat
20. A Hidden in the Shadows 2
21. Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea
22. Changed
23. The Witch’s Heart
24. Forest of Drizzling Rain
25. Mermaid Swamp
26. Undertale
27. Aria’s Story
28. One Night Full Circle
29. Your turn to Die
30. Hello Charlotte
31. Imaginary Friends
32. Dreaming Mary
33. The Gray Garden
34. Fausts Alptraum
35. LISA The Painful
36. Space Funeral
37. Stray Cat Crossing
38. Purgatory
39. Chloe’s Requiem
40. Radiation’s Halloween Hack
41. Coffin of Ashes
42. Yanderella
43. Parasite Eve
44. Stitched
45. The Walking Dead
46. Mother 3
47. Underworld Capital Incident
48. Omori
49. Bendy and the Ink Machine
50. Drakengard
13
Esmond
3 Apr 22 S
- feel disturbed after Preesa took a shower when they talked on the phone
- think Yoyo is easy to give up
- think Preesa is trying to taking it out on people in the church
— I listen because I think the Holy Spirit asks me to, though I don’t want to
— I want to know whether she’s speaking the truth to us
— she’s strongly opposed to a group chat at Saturday morning as she did want it to centre around her, but I told her that these two sisters are gifted in talking and you had let them know already, then she said okay
— I asked her how it went, as they were more experienced talking and I am not that gifted. Sam thinks slowly and gifted in talented. Letty doesn’t talk about herself that much, but she is talented in both thinking and talking. Adarsh is slowly in thinking, but talented in speaking. Ben is like a judge, observing us. Grace can take swearing, but she emphasise rules. I am good at thinking and listening. Yoyo is like you, but easy to give up. I hope you can reflect on yourself how you communicate with people
— She said both Sam and Letty were okay. And told me about this boy for 2 more hours. She said he wanted to fly together with her, and she was in pain waiting for him instead of immediately flying.
— I told her I had been seeing psychologists since I was very little, and they told me that it is as if I was carrying a backpack that was so heavy that it makes me bleed, or you’d like to put it down and rest? It’s just a decision away. She was hesitating, as she thought the guy could help her, but she didn’t want to hang out with local people, rather I would like to hang out with Canadians.
— give yourself a week to think carefully. This guy takes half a year to wait for him to sell everything, and you guys could talk on the same channel.
- I am confused and disturbed that she does things in a weird and unsafe way. I think she needs a girl to tell her that. (Esmond, why do you care about her?)
— It is because God and my dad taught us to treat people well, and treat everyone fairly. As for perspectives, I think if people are over 30, or a senior in age, then I would just listen. But Preesa is young and can be helped, and taking a shower while talking with a guy is a big problem. Whether she listens is not my concern, as she is not my friend. She takes advantages of people’s listening ears at church, and I don’t think she comes to become a Christian. A church his for us to learn to become a Christian. I think it is not suitable as I’m afraid people will misunderstand, so I’m xianmu with you and Sam. She’s not open with her former church experience, and only pastors can give advice.
- I asked her not to swear at church so as not to scare the kids and not to be look down upon from people, as she kept swearing. Sexual harrassment.
- I feel strong to pastor because they know better the right way to do from God as their are trained and educated. We are disciples, and we are different from pastors in points of view. Rely too much on pastors?
— why I cannot do it: no education, no confidence, afraid of hurting people
— Sam, Stephenie, Tina, (Letty: sensitive, find the right words and timing, but connection is stronger - 80%), Michelle, Deepa, Ben (emotional), Adarsh (okay but need a lot of patience), Tryfina.
— emotions: too down every other day (different every hour) in the heart (related to Ebson and past pastor experience - discouraged to go to church)
— you can put your backpack down and be healed —> cry
— can use Bible app (depends on emotions in Hong Kong), but I’m in the UK discovering this problem I stopped listening. I have thought about approaching you before (like your personality and want to know you more), but I had fallen for you for a little bit but not too strong (5%). But I’m flying to the UK. I feel Adarsh and you are in the situation, and I kept myself in the dark. I knew before DTS, but I told them to see with their eyes. Usually my bros ask me what kind of girl I liked, I’ll say Michelle (just break up with boyfriend) or Letty, independent and know the right time to talk, more mature, and have a big heart for minority group. Girls needs guys to buy things or keeps making them happy, but I wouldn’t like them that way. Sadly, I don’t want a long distant relationship.
— maybe I move here because it’s not the right time. Finish studying in August
— found out not the right cause. Want to learn writing. Just split class, stick with another teacher. Can apply for the former teacher because it’s more suitable. New sir always has pop quiz, I feel nervous.
Letty: I think we are on the right channel, but never have the time.
