Wednesday, March 28, 2018

【基督徒】怎樣正確地愛一個人?

不久前看了YouTube推薦的影片,張靚穎和鄧紫棋合唱了一首《雨蝶》,我就去找了《雨蝶》,發現是來自一部叫《還珠格格》的影片。古裝劇我沒什麼興趣重溫,不過,同是趙薇和林心如主演的另一部電視劇,《情深深雨濛蒙》,裡面的歌聽著倒是挺有味道,我也沒看過,就開始了斷斷續續的追劇。

第11集是我目前最喜歡的一集,說何書桓和陸依萍吵架,最後是書桓先前去道歉,儘管從頭到尾不講理的是依萍。我並沒有特別偏袒誰,倒是我很同情愛恨分明的依萍,她走過的路實在不容易,也造成了她心裡的傷口(我也同意書桓說的,依萍心裡有傷口,需要醫治)。依萍在與父親斷絕了關係之後,一直有根刺在心中,能聽見她不時提起,說起父親就有氣,有眼淚。這些都是很真實的情感。但是,書桓認為依萍不給父親留半點面子,我聽著也是有理的。

第11集是說,有一晚父親陸振華發現依萍原來是在歌舞廳當歌手,趕過去要把女兒要回去,但是依萍不依,依然說著“我們已斷絕了關係”。但從角色來看,從陸振華趕去要帶回依萍,我們就不能說他是完全不關心女兒,或者是為了自己的臉面。他還很不要臉地跑去歌廳跟老闆要人,見依萍中從沒提到過面子的事情,雖然也沒講出愛的語言來,但陸振華有關心女兒(不論他之前做了什麼)倒是真的。他拋棄了依萍的媽媽,卻很欣賞依萍,這是我的觀感。無論如何,在依萍把父親趕走了以後,書桓沉不住氣,要勸說依萍知道爸爸其實關心自己這個事實,依萍沒辦法接受,和書桓也鬧翻了,回家抱著母親難過地哭了一場。

最精彩的部分,是書桓在門口等依萍到天亮,他們和好的過程。且看這部劇裡目前性格最沉穩的角色何書桓(一個成熟的基督徒),是怎麼做到把內心藏著恨的人兒帶到醫治當中的:

依萍孝順母親出去買菜,卻在門口看見了正在等她的何書桓。











看依萍的表情,似乎也不是實在不想見到的人。(如果那個人實在不想見你,先給大家一點時間會比較好,否則氣在頭上只會越鬧越僵,傷害越來越深。)












脾氣倔強,還是得生氣,說一些氣話。(先聽他說,不要忙著澄清,因為你立定心意要學會去愛的人才是最珍貴的。他說什麼你都先聽,讓他感到被尊重。)






















“我現在過來'重新認識'你。”











先為該道歉的事情道歉,承認自己真正做得不對的部分,這是書桓的難得。他看得很清楚,什麼是出於理性,什麼是一時衝動,什麼該道歉,而不是隨便編個理由哄人。(你首先得看得清楚,看不清楚找個局外人幫你分析分析。無論你是什麼動機,如果真正傷害到了所愛的那個人的感情,那就要道歉。有時候,對於錯不是最重要的,人的情感才是最重要的。你對了,卻讓他情感受傷,那你的對在改變他的生命上也沒有意思。尊重他的情感,才在他願意聽的時候教導他什麼是對的,如何能做對,這以後我們會說到。)











書桓:“我從小是個獨生子,父母什麼事情都依著我,養成我固執而驕傲的個性。我的脾氣一向不好,我不是個溫柔體貼的男人。可是,我自認是個非常講理的人。我不會無理取鬧,也不會莫名其妙亂發脾氣。”

重點不是你是個怎麼樣的人,是在於你能澄清自己的動機,會傷害到他的理由。如果你是亂發脾氣,那你就該道歉,並為了他盡力好好改變。但即使是亂發脾氣也會有理由的,也許你那時候很累,也許你那時候受了打擊,無論如何,現在既然來修復關係,那就理性地把你的理由解釋出來。(書桓是用自己的性格解釋,說自己固執驕傲脾氣壞卻很理性。他沒有說:“那只是碰巧發生了一次。” 事出必有因,他能解釋得清楚,你也可以解釋清楚。)

依萍:“所以你是在說我無理取鬧,說我莫名其妙亂發脾氣?”(這的確也許是真的,但是你無需跟他的氣話動氣。書桓的回應,還是看得很清楚,事情的問題出在哪裡——依萍的確需要醫治,但是他話說得太早,她一下子接受不了,發了脾氣。他為了尊重她的情感,說出了自己的不對,卻隻字不提依萍的不對——現在是你在主動复和,那就只說自己不對的地方。)

一個人的軍隊

他  像一個人的軍隊
入侵我的房間  佔了我的妝櫃
說著  德語  俄語  希伯來語
挨著我的桌面  插上一支旌旗

我的紅花揚眉  白花垂頭
聽他的來勢洶洶  嘰里呱啦
難道  是我前生做了什麼孽
他話絡繹不絕  臉竟模糊不清

我轉身逃開  卻被一把抓住
示愛的時候你怎麼走啦?
我說  萬人的方言  天使的話語
卻沒有愛  又與我何益呢?


從榮耀到榮耀

完美。

我們都知道完美,只是很難尋找到真正的完美。在世界上我們所經歷的事情都是有瑕疵的,並不是完美。

對於愛神的人而言,這些不完美經常是屬於我們自己的。我不是指我們身體的軟弱(雖然我們都曾感受過),只是通常會困擾我們的不完美都不是表面可見的。真正的問題在於從心而出的罪。21 因為從裡面,就是從人心裡發出惡念、苟合、 22 偷盜、凶殺、姦淫、貪婪、邪惡、詭詐、淫蕩、嫉妒、謗讟、驕傲、狂妄, 23 這一切的惡都是從裡面出來,且能汙穢人。(馬可福音七21-23)

對自己的不完美,比起對別人的,我們總是有更多的包容。我們嘗試去掩飾,在心中卻都清楚明白自己的可悲和有罪。且聽使徒保羅在羅馬書七24發出的強烈悲痛:24 我真是苦啊!誰能救我脫離這取死的身體呢?

然而在這事情上我們並不孤單。整個宇宙都為人的罪所苦。保羅也寫道,22 我們知道,一切受造之物一同嘆息、勞苦,直到如今。(羅馬書八22)所以我們說,世間一切也是不完美的。所有受造物都在罪的詛咒下頻頻叫苦,都在等候著世界的完結,那時候罪也不復再了。

在那一天,所有事物都會變成完美。痛楚、悲傷、哭喊,都將成為無有。10 並且耶和華救贖的民必歸回,歌唱來到錫安,永樂必歸到他們的頭上。他們必得著歡喜快樂,憂愁嘆息盡都逃避。(以賽亞書三十五10)

不止這樣,我們也會完美得金光耀眼。整個人,我們的身體與靈魂,都將是全新的,沒瑕疵的。就如使徒約翰所記,2 親愛的弟兄啊,我們現在是神的兒女,將來如何,還未顯明。但我們知道,主若顯現,我們必要像他,因為必得見他的真體。(約翰一書三2)

目前我們沒法看見這畫面,“將來如何,還未顯明”,只是,要知道我們有一天都會完全地像基督。這就是上帝在永恆到來以前選擇了我們的目的:29 因為他預先所知道的人,就預先定下效法他兒子的模樣,使他兒子在許多弟兄中做長子;(羅馬書八29)4 就如神從創立世界以前在基督裡揀選了我們,使我們在他面前成為聖潔,無有瑕疵;(以弗所書一4)神已經在我們身上開展了美善的工作,直到一天他將信實地 6 成全這工,直到耶穌基督的日子。(腓立比書一6)然後我們見到基督,頃刻間便完全化為完美,因為我們看見他的真體。

天國是一個完美的地方,給完美的人兒居住。完美是神要讓我們成為聖潔的目標。神不只要我們比原來更好而已,他要把我們塑造成他愛子的樣式。神在預備我們成為適合的模樣,以後便與他永遠同住。天國的白璧無瑕是我們得救的終點。神在創世以前已揀選我們就是為此目的。

從內而外的改變

在我們從不信轉為相信基督的那一刻,神便執意要幫助我們成為完美。聖靈更新我們的一切,26 我也要賜給你們一個新心,將新靈放在你們裡面,又從你們的肉體中除掉石心,賜給你們肉心。他改變我們固執的想法,開放我們的心去擁抱真理,不再抗拒它。他使我們可以有信心,而不去質疑。他使我們飢渴慕義,渴求神自己。如此新生就改變了我們的內在。從那時候開始,一切生命中的事物,無論是好是壞,也是神在使我們更像基督。 28 我們曉得萬事都互相效力,叫愛神的人得益處,就是按他旨意被召的人。 29 因為他預先所知道的人,就預先定下效法他兒子的模樣,使他兒子在許多弟兄中做長子; 30 預先所定下的人又召他們來,所召來的人又稱他們為義,所稱為義的人又叫他們得榮耀。(羅馬書八28-30)

在道德和法律方面,信徒被判為完美,不是由於我們的身份或所作所為,只是因為基督為我們所作的。決志的頃刻間我們即被看為無罪,所有罪被「清洗」一空,我們穿上完美的公義。10 「我因耶和華大大歡喜,我的心靠神快樂。因他以拯救為衣給我穿上,以公義為袍給我披上,好像新郎戴上華冠,又像新婦佩戴裝飾。 11 田地怎樣使百穀發芽,園子怎樣使所種的發生,主上帝必照樣使公義和讚美在萬民中發出。」(以賽亞書六十一10)5 唯有不做工的,只信稱罪人為義的神,他的信就算為義。(羅馬書四5)在神的面前我們從此可以站立得住,不需要害怕被定罪。1 我們既因信稱義,就藉著我們的主耶穌基督得與神相和。(羅馬書五1)1 如今,那些在基督耶穌裡的就不定罪了。(羅馬書八1)這就是聖經所說我們擁有的特權,神 3在基督裡曾賜給我們天上各樣屬靈的福氣,(以弗所書一3)當保羅說神已經 6 叫我們與基督耶穌一同復活,一同坐在天上,(以弗所書二6)他是在重申我們因著恩典就白白擁有的特權。我們並不是真的按字面理解,突然靈魂出竅與耶穌一同坐在天上,但是,在神永恆的法庭上,我們被賦予進入天國的權利。這是我們現在得享的法律地位。

可是神並不停止在給予我們權利上。司法的無罪釋放(聖經中叫作“稱義”)並不改變神要塑造我們成為基督的樣式(聖經中叫作“成聖”)。縱然我們在律法上已經變為完美,神還是要使我們“整個人都完美”。天國是一個完全聖潔的地方,我們如果不是完美,住在那裡會很不適應。從這點來看,神稱人為義的福份就是他的憑據,保證我們都會被完全改造成他愛子的樣式。30 預先所定下的人又召他們來,所召來的人又稱他們為義,所稱為義的人又叫他們得榮耀。(羅馬書八30)

基督的樣式就像一顆種子,在信的那刻就被播下。歌羅西書二9-10說,在基督裡 9 神本性一切的豐盛,都有形有體地居住在裡面; 10 你們在他裡面也得了豐盛。使徒彼得補充說信的人都被賜下 3 一切關乎生命和虔敬的事(彼得後書一3)如果你是個基督徒,神的生命在你的靈魂中居住,你在天國需要的一切也能從之得來。永恆的生命的原則已經在你的裡面了,就是說你現在已經擁有了天國的名份。你是已經出死入生了。24 我實實在在地告訴你們:那聽我話又信差我來者的,就有永生,不至於定罪,是已經出死入生了。(約翰福音五24)是一個新的人了。17 若有人在基督裡,他就是新造的人,舊事已過,都變成新的了。(哥林多後書五17)從前你是被罪捆綁,如今卻是被義捆綁了。18 你們既從罪裡得了釋放,就做了義的奴僕。(羅馬書六18)並且收取的不再是罪的工價(就是死),乃是神永生的禮物了。23 因為罪的工價乃是死,唯有神的恩賜,在我們的主基督耶穌裡乃是永生。(羅馬書六23)而永生就是豐盛的生命。10 盜賊來,無非要偷竊、殺害、毀壞;我來了,是要叫羊得生命,並且得的更豐盛。(約翰福音十10)這就像是我們裡面有靈力的自流井,供應我們活出我們被召要活出的生命。38 信我的人就如經上所說,從他腹中要流出活水的江河來。(約翰福音七38)那就是約翰寫 17 若有人在基督裡,他就是新造的人,舊事已過,都變成新的了。的意思。

現在,讓我們從實招來:即便是最屬靈的基督徒,也不經常見得是“變成新的了”。我們不會經常覺得自己是“新造的人”,通常也只會看見罪自我們裡面流出,而不是基督說“活水的江河”。就算我們有聖靈“初結的果子”,在心底裡我們 23 也是自己心裡嘆息,等候得著兒子的名分,乃是我們的身體得贖。(羅馬書八23)然後我們一輩子就是發出這樣的嘆息。要知道這是一個成熟的使徒所發出的感概,而不是一個脆弱的新信徒。保羅在羅馬書七24說:24 我真是苦啊!誰能救我脫離這取死的身體呢?

問題就在這兒:正如拉撒路一樣,我們從墳墓裡走出來,仍然是穿戴著墳墓的裝束。我們被關押在人的肉體裡面。在聖經中,“肉體”並不單指我們的身體,也指在我們的身體成為金光耀眼以前,我們裡面的罪惡思想與不良習慣。當保羅說“肉體”和“靈魂”的時候,他不是做有形與無形的對比,就像諾斯底主義和新時代運動所說的,搞一種二元論。保羅乃是用肉體這個詞來形容一種犯罪的傾向,即使在人被贖以後,他的罪也依舊在他的裡面。

在羅馬書七,保羅很清楚地點出這個問題。他寫道:

15 因為我所做的,我自己不明白;我所願意的,我並不做;我所恨惡的,我倒去做。 16 若我所做的,是我所不願意的,我就應承律法是善的。 17 既是這樣,就不是我做的,乃是住在我裡頭的罪做的。18 我也知道,在我裡頭,就是我肉體之中,沒有良善。因為立志為善由得我,只是行出來由不得我。 19 故此,我所願意的善,我反不做;我所不願意的惡,我倒去做。 20 若我去做所不願意做的,就不是我做的,乃是住在我裡頭的罪做的。 21 我覺得有個律,就是我願意為善的時候,便有惡與我同在。

如果你不明白為什麼保羅要用“肉體”這個詞,他所述的最後一句就能看為這詞的定義:我願意為善的時候,便有惡與我同在(的那個律)。保羅繼續說這個律是在他的肢體裡面,“和我心中的律交戰”(這個律渴望守神律法的公義),所以我現在是被擄的,我被叫附從那肢體中犯罪的律。(羅馬書八23)在我們裡面的那個犯罪的律,是包括所有的惡習與惡念,是我們重生以前就在我們的生命裡的,它們還未離開我們,在一生中我們也要被它纏繞。基督徒在一生中“治死身體的惡行”。13 你們若順從肉體活著,必要死;若靠著聖靈治死身體的惡行,必要活著。(羅馬書八13),但是犯罪的律在我們得榮耀以前都不會被完全消除,它一直會在我們裡邊。

信耶穌就代表我們是“新造的人”了,是重生的靈魂,擁有生命及聖潔所需的一切,但是,因為有罪持續在我們裡面,我們便無法完全享受在基督裡有特權的感覺。就像保羅,我們 22 按著我裡面的意思,喜歡神的律(羅馬書七22),只有永生的律能夠解釋我們對神律法的喜愛,但同時肉體限制、羈絆我們,像一個從墳墓裡出來的人一樣穿著包得嚴嚴密密的裝束。這肉體的律在與基督裡新生命的律交戰,我們就因而成為自己身體中犯罪的律的戰俘了。

How can this be? After all, Paul earlier wrote in this very epistle that our bondage to sin is broken. We are supposed to “have been set free from sin” (Romans 6:22). How is it that just one scant chapter later, he says we are “captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members” (Romans 7:23)?
But being a captive is not quite the same thing as being enslaved. As unredeemed sinners, we were full-time slaves of sin—willing servants, in fact. As Christians who are not yet glorified, we are “captives,” unwilling prisoners of an already-defeated enemy. Although sin can buffet and abuse us, it does not own us, and it cannot ultimately destroy us. Sin’s authority and dominion are broken. It “lies close at hand” in the believer’s life (Romans 7:21), but it is no longer our master. Our real allegiance is now to the principle of righteousness (Romans 7:22). It is in this sense that “the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17). Even though we still fall into old patterns of sinful thinking and behavior, those things no longer define who we are. Sin is now an anomaly and an intruder, not the sum and substance of our character.

God is changing us from the inside out. He has planted the incorruptible seed of eternal life deep in the believer’s soul. We have a new desire and a new power to please God. We have a new heart and a whole new love for God. And all those are factors that contribute to our ultimate growth in grace.

Paul makes a fascinating point about the inside-out transformation of believers. In 2 Corinthians 3:1-24, he contrasts the effects of our salvation with what happened to Moses when he encountered God’s glory on Sinai. Remember that when Moses came down from the mountain after the giving of the law, the glow on his face was so terrifying that he had to put a veil over his face (Exodus 34:29-33). Yet that was a relatively weak and diminishing glory (2 Corinthians 3:7). It was also a reflected glory.

In contrast, “the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18) is an ever-growing glory that is not reflected, but comes straight from within. Paul writes, “We all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Corinthians 3:18). In other words, the indwelling Spirit of God personally conveys us from one level of glory to another.

The Greek word translated “beholding” means “looking at a reflection.” In the familiar King James Version, it says “beholding as in a glass” (or “mirror”). Unlike the Israelites, we require no veil to shield us from the reflection of glory. (“Not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face so that the Israelites might not gaze at the outcome of what was being brought to an end”—2 Corinthians 3:13.) We get a full-on look at undiluted glory: “God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ” (2 Corinthians 4:6).

We don’t literally look directly at the face of Christ, of course. The glory we see is a reflection of “Christ in [us], the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27). As we fix our hearts and aspirations on his glory, the glow of Christlikeness grows brighter in us. One day we shall see literally him—not merely as a dim reflection. We will stand bodily in his presence: “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face” (1 Corinthians 13:12). And with one face-to-face glance at the person of Christ, we will be instantly transformed into his likeness. “We shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2).
Meanwhile, his glory is transforming us from the inside out. That’s why (unlike the reflected glow on Moses’ face) the glory doesn’t fade; it grows “from one degree of glory to another.”

Although sin has crippled our souls and marred our spirits—though it has scarred our thoughts, wills, and emotions—we who know Christ have already had a taste of redemption. As we set our hearts on heaven and mortify the remaining sin in our members, we can experience the transforming power of Christ’s glory on a daily basis. And we long for that day when we will be completely redeemed. We yearn to reach that place where the seed of perfection that has been planted within us will bloom into fullness and we will be completely redeemed, finally made perfect (Hebrews 12:13). That is exactly what heaven is all about.


Thursday, January 25, 2018

2017 Dec Journalling

01/12/17 F

Dream Journal
  • I don't remember much… but Holly and me were in a school and we were looking for a place to hang out (or talk? I couldn’t remember). We used the elevator and discovered some deserted places… at last we got to a roof playground and Pooi To students were there. It was raining and they poured water at me (?) or trying to hurt me (shoot me with water intentionally? I forgot). All I remembered was I was angry and grapped one of their waist and stared angry at them (I remembered Katy being there… but there were also boys (?) or naughty students). I was glad Anne called me and I woke up. I didn't know what to do after directly expressing my anger.

Life Journal
  • I woke up to Anne's call this morning. We read the Bible together and prayed. Then we shared some of out thoughts and bid goodbye.
  • Then I called Kelly, and talked with her while looking for Starbucks. At last I went to McDonald's. Read some chapters and then went to the park and then KFC.
  • Met my target, went back and had dinner in a good mood until Anne called… I felt like nothing comparing to her. Why do I need to make this comparison God? Her actions are so fast it was like soaring… I felt like shit now. What do I do God? What do I do?
  • I have to fill myself up too… Is this what you want me to do?
  • I want to transform God… I want to transform. You want servants right? Do you want me?
  • I'll wake up at five and do the confession. I want to do the confession.

2017 Nov Journalling

28/11/17 T

Dream Journal
  • Woke up at 1300 today because of a curious dream.
  • I was with Kelly in a high school we studied in. The bathroom was all squat - and I couldn’t use them despite how urgent I was. I looked at my watch - there were 20 minutes to the next lesson. I walked out of the classroom and asked Kelly (whose seat was near the classroom entrance) if she liked to come with me. We used the escalator to descend to the ground floor and walked out onto the street. The sky was dark - it was an evening. A family in which a boy was holding a plastic pocket of a gold fish passed by, and I pointed to Kelly and explained in her amazement. I couldn’t find the bathroom easily - but I realized that when I woke up I could easily find a sit toilet. So I woke up and went to the bathroom.


Life Journal
  • Went to the next flat for some spiritual reading - realized that I had nowhere to go and that wherever I went it'd be sitting still and read. I read - but it wasn't very comfortable. I decided to make it a secret place where my parents wouldn't notice my prescence there, so I could do my own things without disturbing them. (btw I love my new Bible so much - it's womanly and it’s KJV!)
  • Eyes got sour and my mind got tired - because of the late awakening I supposed, yet used my notebook to create this OneNote session - organizing it was not easy. I felt a bit frustrated because of my incapbability to take action and quick organization, at the same time felt shocked at my slowness - I supposed I was good at organization things? However, that didn’t seem to be the case today.
  • Went out to KFC with my parents for dinner at 2000, then met Chris at 2030 to return the money I owed him. We talked for a little at Starbucks and noticed that we changed - I used to be so at ease talking with him. But he's a family man now. He's still funny, but I suppose I should move pass him and pursue my dream. (He said he believed I could go out and migrate, so maybe it was me getting cautious with my relationship with him)
  • I loved the idea of dividing different time sessions: 6 sessions a day for work and 1 session for rest. It's Gwyneth now - I ought to sleep for tomorrow. (there are so many things I need to do! D:)
  • I supposed I should go to bed after spiritual formation… Good night, Journal.

201711 CCT (Cambodia)

Before I attended CCT, I had plenty of doubts as for whether it was a wise decision to quit my job for it. God understood my concerns perfectly, and this experience turned out to be a life-changing one. I had learnt a lot about the mission Jesus asked of his fellowers throughout the one week intensive course, and then had the chance to set my newfound knowledge into action in the second week. It was a worthy experience

感謝旅途中你們為我禱告。

這次短宣我的得著很大,主要是一些從未思考過的事(比如說其實神的意思是人人都宣教,並非只是傳統宣教士比如馬禮遜等人的工作,這主張在聖經裡還充滿backup;還有對宣教事工和對自己的認識),也修補了與神的關係。我覺得每個人一生也至少要參與一次短宣,然後以一顆宣教心去回應神。

下面是此次經歷一些小小的分享:

1. 這是我的第一次短宣,時期是柬埔寨內戰結束後的第三個年頭。重建工作正在進行,當地政府也非常樂意開放自己的國家讓外來的友好國進來協助重建,包括民生工程與教學建設。這,導師說,也是宣教的一個時期,誰在這日子先進來,誰傳的教就發光發亮。(所以很需要宣教士!)

2. 分享一個經文:你的話是我腳前的燈,是我路上的光。” (詩一百一十九105) 這句話的重點是腳前。神應許的引領不是一道光照亮前面全部的路,而只是前面的一小步。每一步踏出去也是信心,並操練我們對神的依靠。所以鼓起勇氣踏出去,因為神會逐步逐步帶領我們,想起在CCT中分享腳步” (盛曉玫) 這首歌,一步一步都有祝福。

祢的腳步帶著我的腳步,一步一步都有祝福;
每個腳步我要緊緊跟隨,走在蒙福的道路。
求給我更多的勇氣,給我更多的信心,讓我勇敢踏出跟隨祢的腳步;
跟祢行在水面上,跟祢走在曠野地,曲曲折折我也不在乎。
我只要更多信靠祢,只要更多順服祢,凡是出於祢的我就默然不語;
就算經過黑暗谷,就算遇到暴風雨,在祢手中都將變成祝福。

3. 宣教原來是一項艱鉅的事工,需要用很高的IQ/EQ/RQ/SQ。成為精英宣教士必須是個全才。淵博的神學知識(傳揚神國的道),謙卑順服的心(因為腳步與多變造成的巨大壓力),豐富的世界知識(特別是跨文化宣教,在文化認同的過程上知識非常重要),良好的人際關係處理技巧(包括與其他宣教士相處,同工以及當地人)。而在世界知識之中,掌握working language是最重要的一環。因為你不會說當地話,當地人就很難認同你。

回來後尋找到一個認識聖經很好的途徑,決定把握此珍貴的資源更好地理解神的話語和心意!

我還有許多分享,礙於字數限制就此打住。神既然讓各人在天路上遇見,也求神大大使用各人,成為合神心意的器皿,同心榮耀神的名。很高興能和大家相遇,再次感謝你們的禱告!

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Pretending to be Normal by Liane Holliday Willey (1999, UK)

13
According to the diagnostic criteria set forth by Gillberg and Gillberg (1989),  people with AS have: social interaction impairments, narrow interests,  and insistence on repetitive routines,  speech and language particularities,  non-verbal communication problems and motor clumsiness. (it is essential to realise that each of these symptoms is manifested in a variety of unique and diverse ways,  depending upon the overall abilities of the person affected.)

14
I mean,  if we are only interested in changing the AS person so that they can better meld themselves into society, a tenuous and nebulous concept to begin with, then perhaps we are misguided.  The AS community gives us much cause to celebrate. Never, I think, should we expect or want them to be carbon copies of the most socially adept among us. We should only suggest whatever help they need to insure they had every opportunity of leading productive, rewarding and self-sufficient lives.

Chapter 1: Remebering When

17
Remembering can teach me who I am and guide me towards who I will be. Remembering can set me free. I would never turn back in search of regrets or mistakes or misdirected thoughts. I simply use my past as a catalyst for conscious thought and for self appreciation.

18
When I think of my earliest years, I recall an overwhelming desire to be away from my peers. I much preferred the company of my imaginary friends.  I remember playing school with my pretend friends. I would climb in the dumpsters behind the classrooms and dig through the reams of trash to collect old textbooks and mimeographs and workbooks. I would take all my finds home and treat them with great respect. I loved those treasures.

19
Using the materials to teach Penny and Johnna was of secondary importance. Far more interesting to me was the arranging of the supplies. Like with my tea parties, the fun came from setting up and arranging things. Maybe this desire to organise things rather than play with things is the reason I never had a great interest in my peers. They always wanted to use the things I had so carefully arranged. They would want to rearrange and re-do. They did not let me control the environment. They did not act the way I thought they should act. Children needed more freedom than I could provide them.

20
To me, the logic was simple. I had my friend. She had me.End of story. Anyone else was an obvious intrusion, an intrusion that, if allowed, would force me into a very uncomfortable and generally impossible situation. I never understood group dynamics, particularly casual friendship dynamics that work on giving and taking, role-playing and modelling, rule following and turn taking. Somewhere along the way, I had learned to cope with the intricacies of young friendships well enough to manage one friend. I marched myself up to the little girl and asked her just why she was at Maureen’s house. I can’t remember what she told me, but I do remember I punched her right in the belly the moment she finished her explanation. I guess she said something I didn’t like!

21
That’s how I understood language. Words had yet to develop into metaphors or similes or analogies or main ideas. It was all about details and pedantic rules and one-way semantics. I never considered a statement had more than one meaning.  I always assumed the meaning I inferred was the intent of the speaker. My parents, assuming I was acting audaciously, were constantly baffled as to why I found it so necessary to challenge the authority. They found themselves weighing their every directive to be certain I would not find a way to weave their words with mine. Which is of course, exactly what I did. I had to make their language fit into mine. I was not able to make mine fit into theirs.

22
My parents knew how to get my attention, usually by allowing me the freedom to find my own way of expressing my interests. They knew I had my own way of doing things, and it didn’t interfere with my methods so long as the efforts was genuine and the results positive. I had control over my learning environment at home and because I was so academically gifted, my parents saw no reason to interfere with a good thing. But at school, the rules changed. Suddenly, I was expected to comply with agendas and schedules that were stifling and illogical. Typically, my teachers took it upon themselves to analyse this pedantic behaviour of mine and I’m told the fondest memories of me included adjectives like obstinate, disobedient and everyone’s favourite, mentally retarded. But because my parents were learning how to talk to me, it never occurred to them that I was not following other peoples’ directions.


Desktop Sticky Notes

 1 The Notecard System https://ryanholiday.net/the-notecard-system-the-key-for-remembering-organizing-and-using-everything-you-read/ 1. writ...